The sky was blue-ish and the powders were fresh. So we assembled a crack crew of shred specialists and set out for the backcountry just outside Blackcomb Mountain. Sunny pow days, not unlike unicorns, have been borderline mythical on the Coast this year. So it was no surprise that almost every member of our crew was there to catch the taste.
I just came back from a trip to the Interior/Rocky Mountains and discovered that tales of our weird Coastal winter had proceeded my visit. I suppose people could have used those rumours to load the oft-wielded “Whistler-is-that-way” finger with some fresh ammunition. But this has been a weird winter for every one, and the occasional cold bursts seem to bring out the best in us all…
Either way, it seemed necessary to dispel the following myths:
-Whistler Blackcomb is not closed for the season
-No, you don’t have to download (but you still can if you don’t mind being ridiculed)
-The coverage above 1800m is actually on par with average seasons
-Channing Tatum was here a couple weeks ago, but he didn’t actually hit Air Jordan switch
We have, however, weathered a few rain events that have resulted in icy conditions, which is why it was so damn special to get out with the crew and get gnarly on a local backcountry classic in near-perfect conditions.
Canadian Post-Hole Service
Our crew was as follows:
Joe Lax: Goat – humble dragon slayer, hilarious, gnarly-as-fuck
Brad Slack: Wildcat – Dad-with-a-day-job, nimble, fearless
Chef Slack: Beaver – thoughtful beardsmith, buttslam enthusiast, calculated
Mie Yamashita: Panther – rider of shadows, aware, ready-to-pounce
Jon Burr: Superfuture Digi-Bear – gigantic beastman, powerful, illogically graceful
Pat McKinnon: Llamacorn – whiteroom navigator, wise, slightly ginger
Mike Nixon: Pepperoni Pizza – greasy, cheap, delicious
Anyways, people seem to like making fun of Whistler. And if it’s not because of our coastal cement and plethora of rain events, people like to hone in on our wealth of Sexually Transmitted Diseases…(What ski town hasn’t been the STD capital of North America at some point in time?)
Long ago, the Whistler freeride community seems to have responded in kind by naming the respective lines off “Disease Ridge” after the rainbow of infections that can bespeckle one’s loins around here.
Joe was the one who had alerted us to the sexy results he’d encountered on the lap before we got there. He’d already gotten Chlamydia, which is ironically the gnarliest run of the bunch: a nasty combo of exposure, sluff management and mandatory air-time.
Mess that one up and it’s gonna take a lot more than a single pill to sort yourself out.
By the end of the day, our crew had collectively amassed Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes, Aids and Chlamydia a couple times each.
Boy howdy, we were fucking pumped!
It’s been all about timing on the Coast this year, so getting that many diseases in one day was a real treat. And in all seriousness, it’s been sick out here for a few days now, both inbounds and out.
Whistler, in spite of its occasional setbacks and subsequent resets, is still one of the best places in the world to let’er buck in steep, sexy terrain.
* * *
Brad Slack, the Wildcat himself, was able to find himself a perch and document the action that unfolded over the course of the day:
Here he captures Mie Yamashita, a rare backcountry panther, sneaking up on her prey.
Breakfast is served.
The elusive Llamacorn speeds past an instability from a couple days previous.
The self-proclaimed “King of the Buttslam” diversifies his portfolio.
Joe Lax follows the tracks of a Goat (they’re his) into the dark hallways of Chlamydia…
“Aids….the Pope has got it and so do you.” – Joe Lax
Party-boardin’…
…with friends on a powder day.
Check the local avalanche conditions here and also here.
And check out more of Brad Slack’s photography here.